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Upon my retirement, one of my my former colleagues in Mexico City, JP said to me: “Enjoy your time and don’t stop sharing wisdom and good vibes with the world, we need it.” Not so sure about the wisdom, and I am certainly ok with sharing good vibes, so here we go….

What is Love? Well, according to me, and in the context of this post;
Something there’s simply not enough of in this world.
Compound that by the fact that supply is infinite, bandwidth is limited. If there ever was a time……

One of the most important life lessons I have learned is to love yourself first, I cannot see how you can love others if you first don’t love yourself. It’s a journey, a hell of a journey. I have multiple scars.

Many of you have made vows to a partner to love…. through sickness and health richer and poorer, through death in fact. Have you made those vows to yourself?

PURPOSE
The journey starts with defining who and what you want to be – purpose. And again that’s not a destination it’s a journey. I have been blessed by many great mentors along my life who have shown me the essential need of purpose for me. One of my most vivid memories in my mid thirties was a job interview that secured my dream job and set my career in turbo mode. During the interview with the CEO of Ferntree Computer Corporation in Melbourne, Norman McAnn, he asked what I wished my tombstone would say after I passed away. My answer was “Here lies José, he helped some people along the way.” (and yes it rhymes, who new I would take a fondness for rhyme.)

My answer was a hint of what I wanted to be to spend my life’s ambition on. Now it’s not that simple, we go through many phases of our lives and are shaped by events both in and out of our control. There is an essence there to tap in to, to uncover and constantly develop, that’s the first step in loving yourself. What’s your legacy going to be? Do you care?

RECONCILIATION
Next is exorcising the baggage and the sins. For most of the 25 years that I flew around the world on business, I cried on the airplanes without fail. It seemed to be my “vessel of reconciliation.” I cried for myself, my family, for the downtrodden, for the wealthy, for the earth. It was a 25 year cleansing exercise, a fascinating journey of discovery and atonement. Now you don’t have to cry on planes to achieve this, you simply need to be really honest with yourself. You cannot love yourself if you carry guilt, grief, first world problems and “why me?” Find whatever means works for you, but reconcile with yourself first, for all the harm you have inflicted intentional or not. Make peace with those you have offended and harmed. Make peace with yourself.

ACTION
Do what you love, love what you do, do no harm, all under the umbrella of your purpose. There is hardly a day that goes by without me saying hello or smiling to a complete stranger. See my post Christmas Day. I also often find myself offering my help to someone no matter how small the gesture may be. To a large extent, humans are designed to reciprocate, do something nice, expect something nice back. What if we did it with no expectation? That’s a sign that true self love of yourself exists. The goodness you spread comes from that love with no strings attached. Action also manifests itself in the written communication. Towards the end of my working career I found that my writing tone and style had changed in a subtle way that essentially mirrored my personality and spread forth the good vibes that JP asked me to continue. Spread love in what you write too, not just what you say.

A Plug for emojis

It took me a while to jump on the emoji bandwagon, and my many retirement events caused me to be the recipient of many. A simple emoji spreads love in fact analysis seems to show that individuals who expressed emotions with emojis were more likely to report more subjective well-being and fewer depressive symptoms. See Paper

Finally, we can all inject much more love in this world if we try, the world needs it, we sleep better at night if we do as well. It starts by having the biggest love affair of your life – with yourself. Be clear on your purpose, reconcile constantly, and of course, do something! Say to yourself – I Love you!

Dare I say it? I love you all too.

P.s. the picture of the ducks was taken early one morning on the golf course. Talk about love…..I wish I could describe to you the feeling I had when I saw this sight.

Update – May, 10, 2024 – Seems the Thunderbirds know too.